December 2009
19 posts
80's Music Videos →
like a shitload of 80’s music videos
the definition of popular websites →
I wish I had thought of this everytime I got a bad...
A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing...
One of my favorite songs of all times!!!
When the rain Is blowing in your face And the whole world Is on your case I could offer you A warm embrace To make you feel my love When the evening shadows And the stars appear And there is no one there To dry your tears I could hold you For a million years To make you feel my love I know you Haven’t made Your mind up yet But I would never Do you wrong I’ve known it From the moment...
How to Tick People Off
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on keeping your car windshield...
One of my favorite poems of all times
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it(anywhere i go you go, my dear and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) i fear not fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true) and its you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows...
Excuses, Excuses
This is probably one of the funniest posts I’ve found in the interweb world.
The routine is familiar: when a student is late or absent from school, a letter from the parents must be supplied for the absence to be excused. Sometimes such letters suggest that the parents were excused from school too many times in their own youth
….
“My son is under a doctor’s care and...
The Spoon
The spoon
Some days I think I need nothing more in life than a spoon. With a spoon I can eat oatmeal Or take the medicine doctors prescribe I can swat a fly sleeping on the sill or pound the table to get attention. I can point accusingly at God or stab the empty air repeatedly. Looking into the spoon’s mirror, I can study my face in its shiny bowl, or cover one eye to make half the...
What (most) Women Want
I want a red dress. I want it flimsy and cheap, I want it too tight, I want to wear it until someone tears it off me. I want it sleeveless and backless, this dress, so no one has to guess what's underneath. I want to walk down the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store with all those keys glittering in the window, past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old doughnuts in their cafe, past the...
Random Thoughts from 25 to 35 Year Olds
Random thoughts from 25-35 year olds -
I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you...
Quotes from Rodney Dangerfield
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn’t concentrate.Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a...